*Looks up at Title.* Ok, admittedly not my best work, but hey, no one here is Judging right? (Ahem, Judges there is a briefcase under each of your chairs. The "Donations" I spoke of are in them, and all yours. thank you.) So Here I sit, with my blog laid out in front of me, and nothing to say. I think. But i suppose if everyone in the world had something to say right off, then perhaps things wouldn't be so interesting. OR, everyone does plan what to say, and it merely seems random, but is in fact, not.
These are the things that keep me up at night. Sometimes. There are other things but I'm not sure that you would understand.
I'll tell you anyway, I need to fill space. I wonder what I am going to do for the rest of my life. I know it seems cliche, but I do it. I sit and look at all the options that I have, and the things I want to accomplish, places I want to see. I dunno its hard to sleep when I can't decide what to do for the rest of forever.
I Also wonder about her. Some of you know who she is and some of you don't. thats fine if you don't know You aren't missing some great secret in knowing who she is. I love this woman, but I am not sure if it really is love. I have no idea if she feels the same way. I think she does, but I am not sure. and there are others too. different women who I have been in contact with over the years, and talked to who I feel for to. Not at strong as her, but its close. Not surprisingly this rolls into the first thing which keeps me up at night. Go figure.
I wonder about my Family. I haven't seen them for two years Sure we have spoken, and I have seen pictures, but it has literally been years since I have seen them. SOme are grown much older, and taller, others have made changes that I am way excited about. and others still, I miss too much for words. (amazing how a simple admittance of something can cause a stir of our deepest emotions eh? I feel the heartache, and the tears near the edge of my mind right now. Is it harder to breathe?) so yeah. My family is huge in my life, and missing them keeps me up at night.
I wonder why I have nightmares. I wish those big Horses would get out of the house.
Heh, figure the pun yet? Good.
So yeah, these are the things that keep me up. Then there is you. Yes, you. Weather you are me reading this later, or you are you, I wonder about you. How long has it been since I have seen ya? are you alright? Is everything well with you. I can confidently say that I miss you. Don't attempt to see past this as some sort of reflection or joke, I wanted to tell all of you that I miss you. instead of a long list of things, I decided to talk to you personally. Let the emotions that your brain wants to stir up free. Tell me how you are doing! I miss you, a lot. You are and always will be, My friend.
thanks. I hope that all of you are well, and having a good day.